Happy National Stepfamily Day! Or maybe it's just Happy Family Day! There is an old saying "There are no steps in my house". I am a firm believer in this.
In my opinion, family goes deeper than blood. It is about love. Family can be friends, extended family, coworkers, or just about anyone else. You choose who you love!
I want to speak directly to stepmothers and stepfathers. Your role is so critical in a child's life no matter how old they are. No matter how involved their biological parents are. You must love these children as your own. If you do not the only thing you're saying to this child is I reject you as my own. It doesn't matter if they're eight or 28 everyone needs love. If you marry someone who has children then you marry the children as well.
Loving a stepchild is your own says I Choose You. If you do not, then you say to them I reject you as my own. Again no matter what age they are, this says to them somehow they are flawed. Somehow they're not good enough. Some of them will be able to handle this. The older they are the better the chances are that they will. You can have a tremendous impact, though, by loving them just like they were yours. By showing them unconditional, arms-open-wide love! You also show to your biological children that this is how it is done!
You can speak life into them that neither in a way that neither of their biological parents can do. The fact of the matter is that they have trauma. Their parents divorced and they have trauma their heart. It is damaged no matter what people tell themselves. I ministered to a gentleman one time that ended up proposing to his ex-wife after many years our divorce. His young 8-year-old boy stood up in front of the rest of the family I said "Now I know what it's like for all the cracks in my heart to be filled up". Now you tell me the kids are okay. You tell me there is nothing wrong with them. They will have cracks in their heart. They will have trauma. They will be damaged. But you can bring a little healing to that. Possibly a great deal of healing. You can tell them that they're accepted, wanted, chosen, and loved!
Today is National Stepfamily Day. You can celebrate it OR you can sit down with them at dinner tonight and share what day it is. You then tell them you are not celebrating it because there are no steps in your house. Then walk it out and love them with all you are!
So to my "steps", Alex and Carri, I tell you I will not celebrate today because...there are no steps in my house!! I love you both!